Pairing: Bert McCracken/Quinn Allman
Summary: To say the least, your first kiss was anticlimactic, and it tasted like ass.
Disclaimer: This is completely true. No, honestly. It is.
Warnings: Naked Quinn. The worst kiss imaginable. Powerpuff Girls.
Author's Note: Remember how I said that I was done with fan fiction? I think I lied. This is a series of not-quite-drabbles, and I have yet to decide if the title will have anything at all to do with the story. I just used it because I don't have any clean clothes. Enjoy.
To say the least, your first kiss was anticlimactic, and it tasted like ass. More specifically, morning breath, stale cigarettes, and old pizza, all rolled up and being shoved in your mouth at once. That’s the only way you can really describe what ass-kisses are like. Oh. And you’re in the bathtub.
Leave it to Bert McCracken to interrupt your private time because he’s suddenly decided that he’s lonely or in love with you or something. It’s not exactly the scenario you pictured in your head when you lie awake at night, trying not to feel like a stupid teenaged girl when you wish that he would sweep you off your feet. No. It’s not anything like that. It’s wet, it’s stinky and tastes bad and it’s really kind of gross, and immediately after he’s done raping your tonsils with his tongue, he straightens himself back up and leaves.
He forgets to shut the door behind him, leaving it wide open for anyone to see you naked. In the midst of your fucking bubble bath.
Needless to say, that was hands down the most disappointing moment of your life. To make things better, your mother walks past the bathroom just as you’re scrambling out of the tub and clumsily trying to wrap yourself up in this little Power Puff Girls towel. She makes a face and shouts, “Goddammit, Quinn, shut the door next time!”