MY VALENTINE HAS HALLOW EYES

Title: Controlling Tools Of Your System
Author: howxixdisappear
Prompt: 54- patient
Pairing: sort of one-sided Frank/Gerard
Rating: R
Summary: He's beautiful. He really is. He takes Frank's breath away every time he walks into the office. But Frank doesn't allow himself to think about it. Gerard's a minor- only sixteen. And not only that, but he's a patient.
Disclaimer: Not real.
Author Notes: Somehow, this is the result of me listening to Serj Tankian. But it is also slightly based on a frerard role play that me and my friend are doing over AIM. So I guess this is dedicated to her. psychicfeeling :] I'm not exactly sure if this is going to be left as a standalone, or if I should continue it as a chaptered story. I suppose that depends on what people think of it.
Also, while Frank is still 26 in this story, Gerard is only 16... mwahaha.
Warnings: Language. Mentions of rape, insanity, and attempted suicide. Pedophile!Frank.





Silence.

He stares, waiting. Expectingly. It's been this way for months. The boy is just wasting both their times showing up, as well as his father's hard-earned money. As much as one measly hour costs, you'd think the kid would at least try to talk. According to his parents and countless doctors, his life was far from uneventful. He had to have something to talk about.

Maybe not.

"...Gerard?" The boy looks up, his dark tangled hair falling into his pale face. He's beautiful. He really is. He takes Frank's breath away every time he walks into the office. But Frank doesn't allow himself to think about it. Gerard's a minor- only sixteen. And not only that, but he's a patient. "Is there anything you want to talk about?"

Gerard shakes his head. Hesitantly, as always. It's heartbreaking. He seems like he wants to talk... he just won't do it. Whether it's because he's scared, or just plain stubborn, Frank doesn't know.

Silence.

Gerard stares at the floor again. He hasn't been taking his medication. He tells his mother that he does, but really he hides them in his sock drawer. Frank discovered that two weeks ago, asking yes/no questions. Those are the only kind of questions Gerard will answer. And that's only on a good day.

"Why are you even here?" Frank sighs, suddenly feeling angry instead of feeling for him. The boy doesn't respond. "You're wasting my time and yours. If you don't care enough to try to get better, then don't bother showing up." He can hear Gerard's breathing increase slightly and grow louder. With any other patient, Frank would stop there, realizing that he hit a nerve. He's supposed to help people, not make them feel worthless. But Gerard isn't 'any other patient'; he's the most aggrivating patient Frank's ever had. "Do you like being this pathetic, Gerard? Do you like making people worry constantly about you? Wondering if you're still going to be breathing in the morning? Y'know what I think? I think you're doing all this shit for attention. You're just a little attention whore. That stunt you pulled with the razors- it was all for attention. You want people to worry. You want people to feel sorry for you. All you care about is yourself."

Breathing increases again. The boy lets out a choked sob and hugs his knees to his chest. He cries. Hard. Frank's eyes went wide in surprise. This was very unexpected.

"N-no.." Gerard's voice is quiet, hoarse from not being used for so long. "I'm n-not an attention whore," There's pain in his voice. Frank wasn't the first person to say this to him. It's not a comment that the kid can just ignore. "and I'm not pathetic! I'm not..."

Frank bites his lip and nods. "I'm sorry..." He says. And he really is. Seeing Gerard in pain like this affects him more then he thought it would. He wants nothing more at this moment then he gather the boy's shaking body in his arms and kiss away every single tear.

But he can't do that. He shouldn't even be thinking like that. Gerard's just a kid, ten years- a whole fucking decade- younger then him.

"I did it because...m-my uncle raped me." Gerard whispers. "I t-told my parents and they didn't believe me...my uncle's a preist. Th-they thought I was hallucinating at first," Gerard is schizophrenic. His docter told Frank that before their first session together. He had a breakdown when he was fourteen, but was never institutionalized, having been heavily medicated since then. "But I had b-been taking my meds... more then I should've, even. So they th-thought I was just trying to get attention, and they told practically the entire family about it. Ev-everyone sort of hates me now...except my little brother. He believes me," More tears. He glances up at Frank with those tortured hazel eyes. "He was there when it happened."

Frank's jaw drops. He met Gerard's brother once or twice. A shy thirteen-year-old with coke bottle glasses and sandy hair. Sweet kid. He seemed to worship the very ground his older brother walked on. Frank remembers one day when Mikey was waiting outside the office for the session to end. The moment Gerard stepped out, Mikey jumped up and hugged him tightly. With wide eyes, Gerard pushed him off and backed away from him. At first, Frank thought that Gerard was just being a jerk, until he saw the expression on the younger Way's face. There was no confusion, no sign of being hurt. Understanding. He knew what was wrong with his big brother. He knew all along.

"I'm so sorry..." Frank says quietly. Gerard shrugs, dropping his gaze once more.

Once again, they sit in silence. A buzzer goes off, signalling that their session is over. Wordlessly, Gerard stands up. He's shaking. Frank feels worse now.

"I'll see you next week?" He asks. Gerard nods and wipes his eyes with the sleeve of his shirt.

"Bye." The boy mumbles. He walks to the door. It opens. It closes. He's gone.

Frank doesn't sleep right that night. Or any other night for the rest of the week. Gerard Way is constantly on his mind.

[Concrit, yes? Also, let me know if you think this should be continued, or left as a standalone. I'm not sure of what I wanna do with it yet. :\]